You met a girl, you ended up in bed with her. You had sex and the sex is over now. It's the next day. It doesn't matter what you think about it, it matters if she wants more.
Wondering why a girl is all over you one night and then the next day doesn't want anything to do with you? Sorry, but you're not her type in bed.
Please note that I didn't say "bad in bed." I didn't suggest that you performed poorly. Women have a certain "type" when it comes to sex.
There are women who love candles and romantic music playing while you gently caress and make love to her. Some women like it a little rough, but draw the line at hair pulling. Some women love to be slapped across the face and called a whore. Some women just like to lay there like a dead animal. There are different types, and if she doesn't want to have sex with you ever again after the first time, she didn't like your performance.
There is an alternate explanation, that she just came to the realization that she's a slut and needs to stop sleeping around, but that feeling can be brought on by wrong type sex, too.
My suggestion: Make her comfortable by being confident. Make it clear that you want to pleasure her and that you're up for anything. If she's got anything to say, she might say it right then and there. If she doesn't say anything, pay attention to verbal cues like "Harder" or "slower" or if she seems to be really into a particular move you're doing. If she says "Stay there" or "Just like that" keep doing whatever you're doing. After sex, don't roll over and go to sleep, see if she's a cuddler. If she performs oral on you for ten minutes, it is NOT okay to perform oral on her for ten seconds, RECIPROCATE.
Please also realize that a lot of women are just absolutely horrible in bed, and they don't care about their own pleasure at all. They consider sex just something that they need to get past and then they can go do something else. If this is the case, it's not particularly your fault, but keep in mind that unless you manage to bring her out of her sex hating shell, the sex will always be a quiet, short and disappointing event.
Good luck, use a condom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Aside from "I'm here to pleasure you and I'm up for anything", do you have any thoughts on getting women to open up more as far as telling you what they want? I feel like I may have had the problem you describe where my style was not what the woman was looking for, but I'm comfortable with a variety of "types" in bed, and sometimes I think maybe I just didn't conform to what the girl was looking for because I wasn't sure what she wanted. Maybe I was really gentle and affectionate, but she really wanted me to talk dirty and smack her ass. I would've happily obliged but I didn't know that's what she was after.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you can't *make* people be more open and communicative, but do you have any suggestions on how to prod a partner in that direction?
Well, my first suggestion would be to know what you want in bed. Your needs are important, what you want matters.
ReplyDeleteI would recommend trying to act out what you want, if there is something in particular. If you like a girl to be on top, try to put her on top. You might want to mention that you really like it when women (enter in what you like). When you're open and let her know what you like and that she's doing good, that can boost her confidence and help her be more open. Women don't say what they want in bed because most of the time they're too scared or shy to say anything or they don't want to hurt your feelings and make you feel like you're doing anything wrong.
And just realize that there are girls out there that have no interest in sex. Their interest in sex starts when you finish. This isn't every women, but just realize that you can come across a woman who just doesn't care.
Respect her if she says no, and take any suggestions she's got. Try to break any really kinky stuff slowly or at least give her warning.