Women are gross

Women are so gross.

This is not a post about how women fart, too and it's not a big deal. It takes a lot of gross, disgusting things to make us pretty and it can be scary sometimes.

For example: You know those shiny, shimmering locks of hair that flow like waterfalls of silk from your girl's beautiful head? A popular product that some women use to get their hair that way is placenta. Yes, placenta. The thing that comes out of a woman after the screaming fetus.

Yeah, it's pretty awful.

You know those beautiful feet your girlfriend has? She probably gets pedicures, where some salon employee is charged with scraping and cutting the dead skin off of her feet. There are some salons that have tiny fish that will ravenously eat dead skin in a piranha like fashion.

Women are getting botox and collagen injected into their face. Botox is from botulism toxin, one of the deadliest substances known to man. It causes respiratory problems, paralysis and constipation. If your girlfriend has it floating around in her muscle tissue, just realize what exactly is keeping her face frozen. Collagen can make a woman's skin smooth and her lips full and pouty. Where do they get collagen though? Women have the option to get it sucked out of parts of their own body (like their ass) and injected into their lips. However, they also have the option of taking collagen from cows, pigs and dead people. Yeah, dead people. You could be kissing pouty lips full of dead Aunt Mildred.

Maybe this could help all those men that think women are gorgeous godesses that deserve to be firmly planted on pedastals. Women do an insane amount of gross things to be hot, always thinking a deadly chemical or a skin eating fish is going to be the difference between you liking her or not. Think about it? Is there afterbirth in your aftershave? Not so intimidating now....